Deployment

Well Sam left on deployment again yesterday. He should be gone about the same amount of time as last time. I am doing ok right now. I had my moments yesterday. So far, my whole 36 hours since he has been gone has been a lot harder then last time. I think it had a lot to do with last time I went to Utah (home) right after he left and I live there the whole time he was deployed. This time around I am here at our house without him and everything reminds me he is not coming home for awhile. Plus Gwen and Gilbert are a year older now and they very a ware that Daddy is not home and they can speak it this time a round. Yesterday was really hard on them. I/we tried to explain it to them a couple of days before. But it was no big deal to them then. Yesterday when Daddy went on his ship and Gilbert put it together he started to ball!! It was so sad. He kept yelling "Daddy come down", "Daddy come here", "I want my daddy". He was crying from that moment until ship started to pulled away. He was still crying when it was pulling out but as much. Gwen cryed a couple of times but nothing compare to Gilbert. She was more mad then anything. It was a tough day on both of them. I started to cry a little bit to when I ship pulled away. How I finally got Gilbert to stop crying is that I told him daddy is coming back! He will come home after Christmas. He is actually come home WAY after Christmas but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. But I think that helped that I told daddy wasn't leaving forever, that he was going to come home.




These are of Sam saying goodbye














When we got home is when I really lost it. Just being home without him and knowing he was coming though the door in a couple of day just did me in. What was cute was Gilbert was the one that came over and gave me hug and kisses on my checks, like I did for him. At one point he took my tissue and wiped away a tear I had missed. He made my day.

Gwenith and Gilbert both have mentioned daddy a handful of times today. They know he is on his ship. They tell me they missed him and I let them know I miss him too!

Those are Gwen and Gilbert "daddy bears". We got them when Sam deployed last year. Sam put a recording in the paw of each bears telling them that daddy loves and he will be home soon. This year we de-stuffed and washed them, then went we went to build-a-bear got re-stuffed and put another recording in the other paw of each bear, so now they both have two each. That way they can hear daddy's voice anytime they want
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Gwen and Gilbert watch daddy's ship leave

flashback

Today sams ship had a family day cruise that I at the last minute went on. It brought back so many memories from when I use to be enlisted. Do I miss it? Sometimes and some things about it. What I do miss is the people. Being on a ship is like high school all over again. Everyone is everyone's business. It is also like a college dorm. Being in the navy gives you 300 roommates! But do miss having your best friend around all the time. I miss visiting other countries.

I do not miss the high seas. And being stuck on 300 feet of gray ship.

repeat after me

I will not cry! Now that Sam has return to work the reality of him soon leaving for deployment has set in. A couple time now while I have been cleaning I just wanted to cry. I have been there done that with deployments it is nothing new. But still it is sad knowing in under week he will be gone for half of a year. I am very happy that it is nothing like when Jeremy was deployed. 18 months is a very long time!

When Gwen and Gilbert woke up this morning they asked where is daddy. Gwen said she wanted him home with her. It was cute. We were very lucky that Sam was able to take 24 days of leave. We spent half of that time in Utah fixing our house up but it was time together.

ok let repeat this again I will not cry . . . yet!

8 days

Its really sad to think that I have eight more days until Sam leaves on deployment. I don't think I am ready. I am not moving home this time around. It is just to hard to do that every time. I hated packing up my house and putting it in storage, then turn around six months later and unpacking everything. I did like having my family around during that time so I am planning to travel home a lot during this time.

It has been so nice the last three weeks Sam has been on leave (vacation). He toke that long because we had to go back to Utah to take care of our house there. Our rents decided to move two months early. I was kind of glad they moved because they were behind on rent. Once they left they we found out that they did not take care of the house that well!!! So there was a lot to fix up. We lowered the rent and easily found new renters. I really like the new people and the neighbors do too, that is a first, so lets hope they take care of the place and they stay a while!!!!

Today is the last day of the leave period and Sam goes back to work tomorrow. I am not looking forward to all of this. I just telling myself only 8 more years of this! We are on the down hill to retirement!!!!!

things Gwen say

Gwen just out of the blue said mommy has a big butt I have a little butt. Then she said it again. This made Sam and I laugh. It's my fault she said that because I say it all the time. But it was funny to hear it from her. I then asked her if daddy has a big butt. I was half expecting her to say yes because compare to her he does, but she said no. Daddy has a peepee. Then she turn to Gilbert and said, like you brother.

What I learn from this is I need to watch what I say around her. I don't swear so that is not a problem but I need to really think about what I am saying about other things to, because she (and Gilbert) are listening to me and storing ever thing I say so they can say them at wrong moments

I miss my mommy!

My mom flew out this afternoon and I already miss her! Ok I will admit it I started to miss her the second she walked into the airport!!

Now I have to clean my house. then hopefully I will download some pictures from my camera to share with you all.

Any maybe, just maybe I will be able to read some blogs too, I miss knowing what is going on with all my blogger friends.

off to clean this messy house of mine . . . I love my phone, I am able to type this up and share this all with you . . ok I really need to clean my house . . . anyone wants to help me?

dream

I had a dream last night. It was a really good dream. You know one of those that makes you think about them all day long. This is going to sound stupid but it was kind of like the story Twilight but with my own kind of twist to it. It was a good dream! The only bad part was that the guy that plays Edward in the movie (I can't think of his name right now and I am to lazy to look it up) was my Edward!! I don't like him, I don't think he is cute and he is not my Edward! What is my dreams doing to me!?!?

passing out

A week ago Gwen was walking and fell. I missed the whole thing be Sam was standing just right in front of me that I missed it. Anyways Gwen fell, Sam picked her up and I noticed blood. She scratched both her knees and her hand. She was crying but really bad. I took her from Sam told him to get Gilbert in the car and I would go back to the USO where we had just eaten dinner and clean her up. I walked in and the guy at the counter for some band-aids. A lady herd me and gave me some. By that time Gwen was not crying at all. I took Gwen into the restroom and started to clean her up. I had her sit on the counter and I was getting all the rocks out of her knee. The whole time I was cleaning her she was saying she was sorry, which I told her she had nothing to be sorry for. She would also thank me for cleaning her! She is so sweet. As I was cleaning up the mess I made by cleaning her up Gwen. Just when I was finishing up I notice Gwen starting to slump a little bit. I asked her what she was doing. That is when I noticed that her eyes where going back. I hurried and grabbed her up in my arms (I had a hand on her the whole time because I was worried about her falling off the counter) I said Gwen wake up! She had passed out me! This really freaked me out. I walked out of the restroom and just then she kind of woke up. She had no color to her face. I left the USO and got into the car with Sam what happened and asked him what we should do. He did not know. I called her doctor but because it was after hours I got no one. I tried to call my mom but no answer. We started to head to the navy hospital because that was the closest. On the way there I remembered one of my friends husband is a pediatrician so I called her but she did not answer. It kind of funny when I really need someone to tell me what to do I could not get a hold of any one! Just when we we're getting to the hospital my friend called me back. I talked to her husband and told him what happened he said she most likely passed out because of the pain. By that time the color had returned to her face and she was talking again. I never would have guessed that Gwen would have been in so much pain that it made her pass out. She wasn't crying or anything. And no she did not hit her head. I double checked that with Sam.

Gwen is fine now. She had to wear a band aid for two days, her choice. But then she told me was all better.

family

I have been wanting family to come visit me since the day I moved but so far no one has come. Well yesterday my grandma called me and asked if my uncle and his family could stay with me for a couple of day while they wait for my cousins passport problems are sorted out. Of course I said yes what are families for!! I love my family and if I can do anything to help them out I will do it! What I think is funny is that my mom and nephews are coming down tomorrow!!!! I can't wait! I am so excited I can't sleep. I am going to have a household of people here for a couple of days.

I am on

I am on! I can't begin to tell you all how much I have missed writing on this thing! There has been so many times I wrote something in my head but was never able to write it on the computer. Why haven't I been on? Well two things I got out of the habit back in February when that stuff happened (still happening) in my family and Gwen and Gilbert decided that they were no longer doing naps! Oh my goodness I can't tell you how long the days have felt. I need a break. I was for awhile still sending them to their room but they would trash it! I use to have their names on the wall, but they used the changing table, which we use now for storage of their stuffed animals, to climb on and tear down the letters. So I gave up on quiet time. But today I could tell both of them were tired so I put them in their room and they both fell asleep. I took a 20 minute nap and boy do I feel better. I am right now cleaning but I am taking a couple of minutes to hop on here and say I miss you all and I am going to start up nap time/quiet time again so I will be able to have me time again!

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day. I had a good one. Sam had duty that day so he was not home. So the day before Sam bought me some designer sunglasses. I have never had any sunglasses that were worth more then $25. We got these from the NEX (military shopping center) so it was discounted plus it was on sale too. The brand is Guess and on the both arms (?, the piece that sets on your ear) there is a G. Gwen saw it and said "G mom!" G for Gwen and then looked at the other side and said G for Gilbert! It was so cute. We went to the Red Bull Air races. That was fun. On Sunday we went to church, then went to the ship to visit with Sam. Nothing big but it was a good day.