Is it stupid of me . .

Is it stupid of me to miss my dog? I needed her this deployment. Yesterday when we went to pick up the new Tinkerbell movie, Gwen and Gilbert had an argument about where Jessie was. I can't remember what Gilbert said about where she was but Gwen said she was at the doctors because she is sick and we can't touch her. It broke my heart. Last Friday when we went to the post office to mail Sam a box, one of the vets offices that we went is next door to the post office, Gwen and Gilbert asked if we were going to go get Jessie now. I told then no she was not there. I keep telling them that Jessie is gone and she is not coming back, I always add, but Daddy is coming back.

I should be happy that we still have Max but he is not my dog. He is Sam's. He does not mind me. He is so not Jessie. I got Rhiannon (Jessie's baby, who is now 4 years old) back from my mom. She use to live with us but when we moved to Cali two years ago we could only have two dogs so we left her behind with my mom. But Rhiannon is not Jessie either.

If I use to call someones name more then once in a row she would start howling, like hey I am right love me. She use to play fetch. I could leave the door open and 90% of the time she would not take off. She use to bring her food bowl when she wanted some food. And most of the time if right after I feed her, but would not feed her more because she was on a diet.

I miss my dog

I miss my husband

I miss my mom

I wish my kids would mind me . . . and pick up their toys

I wish I had friends that would come over to house to visit

I wish the stuff that happened back in February, that I will not talk about, did not happen

I wish I had my twin here (30 years later and I am still wishing that, lol, now that I am laugh at myself I am going to end this and go to bed)