My Twin Sister Special Day

This is my twin sister. Her name is Melissa. 29 years ago on this day she ended her journey here on Earth and joined our Heavenly Father. She died in her sleep, of what was classified SIDS. She had ammonia in her lungs that over came her so fast that she could not be saved. She was healthy the day before. In fact my mom checked up on her a couple of hours before she passed and she was fine (I was crying that is why my mom checked in on us). Melissa was 10 months 9 days old.

My family was living in Sardinia, Italy at the time. My dad was in the Navy. Melissa's death was really hard on my Mom and Dad. My dad unfortunately was never really able to grieve properly so he never came to terms with her passing. It really messed up his life,. He still to this day has problems with it. My mom says what helped her with Melissa's passing is our religion and knowing that Melissa is with our Heavenly Father and that one day in Heaven my mom will have the chance to raise Melissa and be her mom once more. That Families Are Together Forever!! My mom said one of the most import things she did was talk about it and not let it bottle up inside.

I have always know I have a twin. That a piece of me is missing. I miss her very dearly. There will always be apart of me that is never whole. I don't remember her. Which to me is so heartbreaking that I have no memory of her. I would just like to have one!!!!

I love to imagine what life would have been like to have her around. How different things would be. How different my live would have turned out. It is a catch-22.

I know it is weird but I talk to Melissa and I know she hears me. I just wish she could talk back, lol. She has always been here me. And one day I will be with her! When Gwenith and Gilbert were born one of the first things I said/asked them was if they knew Melissa. I swear Gwen smiled like she was saying yes she knows Melissa!

I had a hard time seeing other sets of twins almost all my life (off and on). I think that is why I was able to have Gwenith and Gilbert, so the pain would not be so hard to handle. That I could look at other twins and not be so unhappy for them. I have two other living sets of twins (my uncle lost his twin at birth and there are other sets of twins in the past) in my extend family and it was really, really hard to look at them, in fact I never held them when they were babies. I use to think why is it that they both get to live and my sister had to die. Now that I have Gwenith and Gilbert it is not that bad anymore. I can smile when I see them and not feel so envious of them.

I still don't have an answer to why Melissa was taken away so early in life but I like to thing I need a little help in life to do good and my sister is my push in life. Plus she was so perfect up in Heaven that to become like Heavenly Father all she need to accomplish in this life was to gain a mortal body. I will see Melissa again!! This I know with all my heart. She is waiting (and watching me) for me in Heaven and one day (not too soon) I will join her there!!

I am a twinless twin!

This is Melissa's head stone. We are planning on going to her grave this afternoon so I will post a new picture this evening.